The Coffee Clatch

 This past Friday I pulled myself out of a slump and discovered that the world had a little more sunshine because I decided to engage with it. I had struggled to focus during the prayer services on Rosh Hashana - and those were the services that I made it to. I canceled a therapy meeting and work the day after chag and felt myself slipping back into a very dark place. This was after weeks of battling ever present exhaustion and increasing fibromyalgia I found myself in bed for more and more hours until the day I didn't get out at all. This brought back the depression and anxiety - fearful of the world and feeling my efforts were meaningless and I besides, I had nothing of value to offer. 

Despite wasting around for several hours I made the conscious decision that the day could still be salvaged. I pushed past the tiredness, terror and excuses and took small steps to get back into a rhythm. I did not have much hope as I walked to the Kosel that my situation could improve. I dragged myself there with the last bit of determination that I had. On my way back I treated myself to a sandwich and coffee at the Roladin shop in Mamila. A friendly Muslim woman turned and asked me if there was an outlet where she could charge her phone. Then, when she realized that I was sitting alone, she invited me to join her. 

After weeks of wishing and flailing to develop a contact in the Arab world - the opportunity fell into my lap. As an eclectic writer I wanted to develop myself as a journalist. The Israel-Palestinian conflict is discussed obsessively in American media and so I wished I could develop "sources" and be able to report the truth on the ground. The anti war Israeli left come to me - the protests take place right outside my house. I got the number of soldiers, even a commander, so I had that covered, but I began to lose hope that I could learn the Muslim or Arabic perspective. I wrote a whole article on my frustrations and my helplessness to be a change maker added to my depression following the assassination of Charlie Kirk. 

Who was I kidding that I could be a person of influence? I felt I would never become an author and given my lack of basic knowledge of war and governance who was I to tell the world how to make peace. I felt like a laughingstock. But without writing I have no voice and I feel like a failure and an imposter at my job as well. Incompetent - I began to ponder again if life was worth living, and even if so could I do it? One foot in front of the other wouldn't cut it. 

But then I met this young woman. Fashionably dressed, friendly and curious. I discovered that we had so much in common besides the obvious - we both like coffee! She is a Mom, as am I. We both want to see peace and stability in Israel, including Gaza. She and I are deeply appreciative that we live in a country with a compassionate and robust healthcare system and social safety net that cares for the vulnerable. We discovered that we also had a hilarious connection - we go to the same dentist. I forgot to ask her how long she has been seeing him - I have been using the same practice for about six years now and I wouldn't go to anyone else. 

She shared with me that she feels blessed to live in a democratic country where an Arab and Jewish girl can sit side by side in an outdoor cafe chatting and enjoying the shade. The choice and ability to meet who you want and go where you please. I too love meeting people from all walks of life and getting to know what makes them tick and I am so grateful that she had the courage to reach out and say hello to a stranger. I am even more grateful that I gave the day a chance - opening the door for the next day and the day after that. 

Notes:

1. People are shocked that I use an Arab dentist, which is funny because half of Remat Eshkol go to an Arab doctor - we live in such a bubble sometimes we are not even aware when we do not. The real risk was going to a dentist that I found on Google Maps. But that is how I know he is responsible and reliable. I went first to just meet him and then decide. I think I did get a cleaning but wasn't going to do a root canal with a dentist I didn't know from Adam. He seemed professional but I was going to give it some thought. Then the pain suddenly got way worse. (I had been to a free government clinic - horror story for another time - and so this problem had been festering for a while.) On the day of my nephews bris I called him up and sort of demanded to be seen that day and he agreed but I needed to wait for him to finish with the patients already on the schedule. So after hours in his office in excruciating pain I was ready to riot when he told me he wasn't going to do the procedure. I have an immune deficiency in my blood and he didn't want to put my life at risk. Protocol is that antibiotics needs to be taken before the root canal is done. Luckily I have my ENT's private cellphone number and he convinced him that giving me a prescription to fill immediately afterwards was enough - all's well that ends well. Now I recommend him to all my friends, I am about to do an implant with him and I couldn't imagine going to any other dentist. When you find your person and he is good - you stick with him. 

2. I still want to learn more about Isreali history and all the various rights that various Arab groups ect have, I found some education websites to help me with that. I strongly believe that we all have what to benefit from each other and conversation and dialogue is the start to peaceful coexistence.

3. There are religious Jews that I want nothing to do with and other Israelis that I prefer to keep my distance from as well. Some of my dearest friends are from backgrounds very similar to mine, others cannot be more different - from a Catholic philosopher to a Christian missionary I really value these connections and I am excited to see how this new relationship will develop. 

4. I visited a friend today who gave me much needed support and encouragement. She is in a similar boat as I am with regard to the learning curve in a new career - that empathy is priceless. I also found out that she has been reading my articles which gave me a boost to keep pushing with this. In my heart I know that even if one person benefits it is worth it and from experience - that does not always happen right away. Some articles I wrote in the past were only discovered or rediscovered years later. I don't know what impact this article will have nonetheless, whoever reads it I am privileged to be its author and grateful you took the time to read my words. 

I would love to hear your thoughts :)!